Burdens That Are Not So [Light]

"God knoweth all things, whether it be good or bad. But nevertheless, deep water is what I am wont to swim in. It all has become a second nature to me; and I feel, like Paul, to glory in tribulation; for to this day has the God of my fathers delivered me out of them all, and will deliver me from henceforth; for behold, and lo, I shall triumph over all my enemies, for the Lord God hath spoken it." -Doctrine and Covenants 127: 2

Trials. 

I remember being a little girl, and at church, we would always talk about trials, and I would always hear the adults talking about how hard life was. Back then I didn't have the slightest idea about life. I had barely scratched the surface of faith and understanding. I guess I would like to think that my scratch is a little bigger now, but still so very very small compared to all I have left to learn.

BUT. 

I have learned a few things this week about trials, and if you will allow me, I would love to share them with you. I do so in hopes that maybe I can say something that will bring comfort to you in the trials you are facing. 

Yesterday, some friends and I went to Monkey Rock, a legendary swimming hole nearby. We piled in the car, ready for a good time. I didn't realize what a profound realization was just around the corner for me. I recently made a new friend, Alex. The Spirit, through him (probably without him even realizing) taught me something beautiful. 

Alex was sitting on the bank all by himself, so I went to keep him company for a minute. As we sat and talked, and watched the rest of the group interact- splashing and playing, he started skipping rocks across to top of the water. He threw the flat, round pebbles with such ease, throwing them at the perfect angle so that they would slap across the choppy water three or four times, causing so many beautiful ripped everywhere they touched. But these rocks eventually lost momentum and dropped to the bottom of the river, where they would stay, and eventually be molded and changed by the rushing water. The rough edges would be rounded, and their color made so much more deep and radiant when the dirt was washed away. 

With trials on my mind, I made a very personal connections with those rocks. With the help of much wind, pressure, and time, in the spirit world, we are made and formed into rocks.  We were placed here on this earth, though this is not meant to be our final resting place. In fact, we have a loving Heavenly Father, who picks us up out of the dirt, and with much grace, "throws us into the water" in a sense. He does so with much care and purpose, sometimes so unknown to this small pebble that is me. He throws me out across the choppy sea, where I am able to make small splashes, ripples that change other people and add beauty to the world around me. But still, this is not His final design. 

From the second this pebble left His familiar hand, He knew I would land in the bottom of the water. And this is where He can do His best work with me. It is in the depth of our trials that we are mold-able and humble. Though the water is cold and a shock to my system, it changes me as it gushes past. My rough edges broken off and carried away. All the dirt is removed, and my true colors left to shine. The Living Water purifies me. 

Our natural response is to curse God for throwing us so far out into the unknown.. for giving us trials we aren't sure if we are capable of baring. He gives us things so very personal and heart wrenching that we can’t handle them. But how dare we think He is so cold and thoughtless?

Does that really sound like the Loving Father we know? No. But that's just it. He gives us things we can't handle, alone. Our burdens are exactly as heavy as He needs them to be, to get us to exactly where He needs us to be. He knows us perfectly. He knows our lives. He knows. That is something I know. And when the trials get hard, and the water seems too deep, it is because we are trying to do it alone. 

I feel like that is what this life is. On throw after another. When we have gained all the refining we can from one part of the river, we get another throw and new chances to learn and grow. New purity to be given. And when we are finally taken out of the water by His loving hand, we will be beautiful stones, precious beyond measure. With worth that cannot be purchased. 

So I guess what I am trying to say.. If you are finding yourself in the very deepest of water right now as I am, keep working. When you find yourself in your personal Gethsemane, keep reaching. Keep praying. Keep growing. Fully submit to His will, and allow the Living Water of His Son, Jesus Christ to purify you and wash away the dirt of sin. It’s ok to be discouraged, but don't fight the growth. Embrace it! He thinks you are worth fixing. He thinks you have potential. Rise to the challenge. Follow the Master. In Him, you can find peace and rest. In Him, you will find life. 

I know God is real. I know He loves us. I know He gives us trials for a reason. He gives us hardships for a purpose. 

Even when it gets rocky: stay in His light, My friends.

-Jamie 

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